Well, to give a bit of context, I'll have to go back a while to when I was unwell. I'd been hearing voices constantly for over a year when they finally started stopping. And when I say constantly, I mean, I'd hear them in my sleep as well as when I was awake so I never had a break from them. Anyway, when they did finally start stopping, while I was in hospital, I actually got a bit lonely and couldn't sleep. The voices were nasty voices, saying horrible things to me and trying to get me to do things that I didn't want to do. So you'd think that me getting lonely when a nasty voice went away would be a bit weird. But think about how you'd feel - imagine being in hospital without being allowed visitors and having no-one else to talk to. Despite the voices saying nasty things to you, at least they were company. Don't get me wrong - I was glad they were gone, but having no-one to replace them left a void in my life. Plus I was used to hearing them at night and in my sleep, so having peace and quiet to sleep was, well, weird. I stopped hearing the voices over a year ago and I've only just managed to fall asleep without some form of noise in the background.
But now I've 'recovered' from schizophrenia, I'm past the 'recovering' stage so I'm very happy that I no longer have to worry about the loneliness of hospital and the difficulties of getting to sleep without some form of sound. I still have difficulties when it comes to sleep but at least I can sleep in peace and quiet!!! And now I'm off the anti-psychotic medication I can sleep without having to pace up and down the room due to the restlessness side effect that they had.
You may have noticed that I used ' ' around the word recovered. Because I don't think it is possible to be completely recovered from schizophrenia. I believe it is possible to never have the symptoms of schizophrenia ever again, but I don't believe it is possible to convince the psychiatrists that you are completely sane and will never have another breakdown. Of course psychiatrists are not psychic and no-one knows if I will have another breakdown and a psychiatrist is not going to give me the clean bill of mental health if there's even a remote chance of me flipping out and doing something illegal. It's just a case of psychiatrists covering their posteriors and not wanting to get fired if a schizophrenic on their books goes crazy(er). But then again, I am very cynical of the mental health system in this country.
So there you go. A few more reasons why schizophrenia sucks. And believe me there are several more. But there are several reasons why I need to go now and they kinda outweigh the need to highlight the issues of schizophrenia. One of them being an urgent need to go to the little girls room!!!